My Lonely Symphony
by ToyInTheAttic
Summary: *AU Mira, yuri* For the first time since I'd met her, I could see exactly who Mimi Tachikawa was. She wasn't a goddess, she wasn't perfect, and she wasn't my soul mate. She was a mess that I had somehow fallen in love with.
1. The Liquor Lady

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Digimon.

**A/N**: I didn't think I would post this story so soon, but since Mild Misunderstandings will be coming to an end, I figured I might as well start on this one. My goal with this story is to raise the amount of yuri on this site. Come on, yuri fans, let's get together!

Anyway, hope you all enjoy it!

_**My Lonely Symphony**_

_**Chapter One: The Liquor Lady**_

Shiru wrapped an arm around my waist. "This is gonna be a great night."

I smiled half-heartedly. "Yeah."

To be honest, I felt nothing at that moment but awkward and nervous. It had been Shiru's idea to go to the mall, but I could tell he was more eager to head to my place. He knew my mother was away for the weekend, so he offered to "keep my company" and sleepover.

With all due respect, I'm not an idiot. I knew Shiru wanted nothing that night but to get laid.

Knowing that made my stomach drop. It wasn't something I was particularly looking forward to.

"Do you wanna pick up a movie or something?" I asked.

"To watch it?"

"No," I spat, "just to have it kicking around."

He smirked. "You're such a saucebag."

"A what?"

"A saucebag. You're saucy."

I laughed.

All right, so we got along, and it wasn't hard to see how much he liked me. So why was I dreading sleeping with him so much?

It wasn't that he was bad looking. In fact, Shiru was one of the most attractive boys I've ever met. I just couldn't get myself to feel that spark that girls usually feel for their boyfriends. I didn't feel the need to hold his hand or kiss him or be around him all the time. Sometimes, I would even feel annoyed by him.

"Oh, fuck," he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Do not look."

I shrugged and looked around. "What?"

"Shiru?"a high voice said, and I looked ahead.

At that moment, time stopped. I swear to you, I was face-to-face with the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen. She wasn't really tall – maybe a few inches shorter than me – with shoulder length sandy blond hair. You could tell she was wearing a lot of make-up, but that didn't make her any less appealing. Her brown eyes sparkled with brightness, and her shirt wasn't really hiding what was under it. I admired her legs carefully before examining her short skirt.

I've always felt more attracted to women than men, but I figured it would be best to ignore that fact at all times.

Is that weird?

"Mimi," Shiru greeted tonelessly.

"Hi," she said softly. "I knew that was you as soon as I saw you. How's it going?"

He shrugged. "Fine. Oh – this is my girlfriend, Sora. Sora, Mimi."

I smiled. "I really like your skirt. Where'd you get it?"

She beamed, clearly flattered. "Thanks! I got it at America."

"Really? All the way over seas?"

Mimi nodded. "I lived over there for a few years."

"Back for good?" Shiru asked, though I could tell he was completely uninterested.

"Sure am," she replied with a smile that made me melt inside. "Hey, since I'm sort of new here, we should get together sometime."

It took me a few seconds to realize she was talking to me."Really?"

"Yeah. Here's my cell number." She handed me a piece of paper. "Call me sometime, all right?"

"Sounds good," I answered, my heart pounding with excitement.

I watched her turn around and walk away, swaying her hips in a way that told me she knew just how incredibly good-looking she was. I couldn't help but admire her for it.

"Who was that?" I asked.

Shiru snorted. "My ex-girlfriend." He shook his head. "But don't be jealous or anything. I wouldn't touch that girl with a ten foot fucking pole."

"Why not? She doesn't seem that bad."

"I fucking hope you're not planning on hanging out with that girl."

"What's wrong with her?"

He rolled his eyes. "It's Mimi. She's the most selfish person I have ever met, and she's such a whore, I don't even know if anyone would want her anymore."

I laughed. "With legs like that, I think she'll be fine."

Suddenly, Shiru backed me up against a wall and ran his hands down my sides. "Know who I want?"

I let him kiss me.

"Wanna head to your place?"

We kept eye contact for at least a minute before I finally nodded.

XxX

As soon as we walked through the back door, Shiru kissed me roughly and picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. I kept my eyes opened while he carried me to the couch. It just didn't feel right...

"Sora," he whispered in my ear, laying me onto the couch. "I want you _so_ bad ..."

I looked up at him as he lowered his hand to my midsection, then my stomach, then my waistline, and then he attempted to reach under my jeans.

"Shiru, wait."

He froze. After a while, he said, "Really?"

"I'm sorry."

He kissed my neck. "C'mon. I promise you'll like it."

"I'm really ... not comfortable in situations like this."

"You think I don't know that?"

I rolled my eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well ..." He shrugged. "This is as ... like, all we've done is kiss, you know?"

"I'm not a whore."

"I know, and I completely respect that." He sighed. "I've been your boyfriend for over a month, Sora. I mean, what else do you want from me?"

I didn't reply.

"Do you not want me?"

"Shiru, it isn't like that at all. I just ... don't see any point to it, you know? It seems really awkward to me to be honest with you."

He bit my neck lightly. "Well, since I can't go down your pants, will you go down mine?"

I held my breath. I didn't want to disappoint Shiru, but the thought of fooling around with him made me tense up and feel uncomfortable.

I sat up straight. "Here?"

"Why not?"

"It's my mother's living room. I don't want to disrespect her like that ..."

"She isn't home, Sora. For all she knows, you're having a party, for Christ's sake."

"Look, I'm just not in the mood, all right, Shiru?"

He rolled his eyes. "You're never in the mood."

"Well ... I'm sorry."

There was silence. And then, Shiru stood up and snapped,

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You don't want to have sex with your boyfriend, and you won't even give him a fucking hand job? Seriously, Sora, what is your problem? Are you, like, asexual or some shit?"

Tears were stinging my eyes, so I decided not to reply.

Shiru wasn't my first boyfriend. I had had many others, but none of them worked out for all the same reasons.

I'm just not attracted to boys. The thought of having Shiru's dick inside of me didn't turn me on at all; in fact, it made my body cringe with repulsiveness. Did that mean there was something wrong with me? Did that make me a freak?

"Shiru, just give it time," I said.

"I'm giving it time, Sora. You're just being so fucking difficult."

Somehow, under my shattered feelings, I managed find some strength by saying, "Get out."

"What?"

"Get out. I don't want you in my house if you're just gonna make me feel like shit."

"How am I making you feel like shit? I'm just –"

"I'm not a whore, so you can go fuck yourself."

"No, you're not," he replied, opening the door and slamming it behind them.

I waited until I heard his car start to begin pouring my tears out.

What was wrong with me?

XxX

"Sora, if you call him I'll throw your phone out your fucking window." Yamato crossed his arms over his chest. "And I'm not kidding."

Tai rolled his eyes. "Yama, quit being so melodramatic. Sora, I say just wait until he comes crawling back to apologize. Granted, what he did was wrong, but everyone's entitled to a bad day, you know?"

"What?" Yamato cried. "He yelled at her because she wouldn't touch his dick!"

"Yeah, but ... no offense, Sora, but sex is an important part of a relationship."

I sighed. "I _am_ fucked."

Yamato smacked the back of Tai's head. "See what you did?"

"Well, look at the facts," I said. "I should want to have sex with my boyfriend. So why don't I?"

Yamato shrugged. "Maybe you don't wanna fuck any guy."

"Huh?"

"Maybe you like girls."

I froze. Sure, my attraction to girls wasn't a secret to me, but that didn't mean I liked thinking about it, or that I wanted other people to find out.

And then my mind started spinning.

Maybe he was right ...

I shook my head. "I don't know."

Tai checked his watch and look at me with guilt. "Off to work. Are you getting a drive with me, babe?"

Yamato nodded. "But really, Sora, if you need me, call me. Okay?"

"Sounds good." I smiled. "Thanks guys."

Tai kissed the top of my head, grabbed his keys, and left with his boyfriend. I pouted and gazed at the kitchen ceiling. Was what Tai said right? Was it impossible to have a relationship without sex?

Or was Yamato right?

I thought about what it would be like to date a girl. I had pondered it before, but would all the sacrifices be worth it?

Mimi then entered my mind.

I opened my purse and pulled out her number she gave me the night before. I dialed it with shaking fingers, almost sick to my stomach from nerves. She was so fucking beautiful ...

"Hello?" a voice that made my breath stop answered.

I held the phone tightly to my ear. "Mimi, hi! It's Sora, Shiru's girlfriend."

"Oh, hey, what's up?"

"Not much. I was just wondering, what are you up to tonight?"

"Well, my friend was supposed to have a party, but he bailed on me. So I guess my Saturday night is free! What are you up to?"

I twirled the phone cord in my fingers. "Well, if you want, you can come over."

To my delight, she was flattered that I asked and immediately made plans to meet up. I hung up the phone, blushing furiously, and ran to my room to get dressed. That's when Shiru called.

"Sora," he started, and I heard him sigh. "Look, I'm so sorry. I know I was being an asshole, and if I could take it back, I would."

I bit my lip.

"What can I do to show you how sorry I am?"

"I don't know, Shiru ..."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No," I muttered. "I am overjoyed when people scream in my face because I won't fuck them."

He snorted. "You know, Sora, your sarcasm is cute and all, but it's kinda pissing me off."

"How is that my problem?"

After I hung up, I felt a burning feeling in my eyes and a lump in my throat. I took a deep breath, trying with all my might to stop the tears from coming. How could I be so strong to his face and crumble to pieces behind his back?

By then, it was time to meet up with Mimi. I pulled myself together quickly and threw on my jacket.

As I was walking down the sidewalk, I noticed her right away. She was wearing short shorts with fucking killer black high-heels, a tight pink tank-top, and her fingernails painted black. Her hair was nicely curled with her bangs pinned back, emphasizing her perfectly shaped eyebrows.

She was like a fucking Barbie doll. I couldn't find one flaw on her.

Jesus. Just looking at her was making my heart stop.

"Hey!" she greeted.

"What's up?"

She sighed sadly. "Bored. What do you feel like doing?"

"Well, we could head to my place to get something to eat if you want."

She smiled, showing off her perfectly whitened teeth. "Sounds good to me."

XxX

"So, I want _all_ the details."

I shrugged and handed Mimi a smoothie. "Details? On what?"

"You and Shiru. How long has that been going on?"

"A month or so."

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Is he still a good fuck?"

I almost choked. "What?"

Mimi laughed. "When I first dated him, he was terrible. I bet you didn't know I was his first. I taught him well, though – he was pretty fucking good towards the end. So, you have me to thank."

"Me and Shiru never had sex before."

At that moment, her expression went from prideful to shocked. "What? Seriously? But ... you've been dating for a month!"

"So?"

"So!" She coughed. "It's a month!"

"It's not that long ..."

"Are you kidding? The last time I went a month without having sex was when I had mono three years ago."

"Really?"

She nodded. "So what's the hold-up?"

"Well ... I don't really know how to explain it to you ..."

She put her hands on my knees, bringing tingling sensations all through my body. "Come on, Sora, you can talk to me! At least try to explain it."

I sighed. "I just don't think I like the though of having sex. It seems ... well ... awkward. I mean, like, being naked in front –"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Mimi interrupted, standing up. "Sora, are you a virgin?"

Sheepishly, I nodded.

She shook her head. "And how old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Sora, Sora, Sora." She began playing with my hair. "You obviously have no idea what sex can do to you. It can make the worst day ever to the best week of your life. I mean, when you push it good enough ..." She smiled and shivered. "You don't even know what you're missing."

I nodded nervously. "But ... what if I'm bad at it?"

She smirked. "You're so cute. There's no way you can be bad at fucking – well, maybe if you're a guy. It's like kissing. Everyone does it differently. I know how you feel, though. If you want, I can teach you how to make Shiru's eyes roll to the back of his head."

I laughed. "Thanks, Mimi, but I might have to say no."

"All right." She pointed at me. "Let me know if you change your mind."

She then stood up and began wandering around. I examined the way her curves were obvious, but she wasn't fat or anything. How could someone be so perfect looking? How could there actually be someone who looked like that?

I couldn't even believe how honest she was. Clearly she wasn't inexperienced in sex, and it seemed like she was proud of it. I couldn't decide if I didn't approve or if I admired her for it.

"Where is everyone?" she asked.

"My mom's out of town till tomorrow."

"And your dad?"

I didn't reply.

"So you're here alone until tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"You have a pretty nice house, too."

"Thanks."

She grinned at me. "You know what that means, don't you?"

"What?"

"You're throwing a fucking party."

XxX

She convinced me to do it. Somehow, she convinced me to go against every single moral I lived by just to have a party.

It took maybe forty minutes for about a hundred people to show up. They weren't even people I knew that well. They were just people from school that had never said two words to me until that night.

The only people I was with consistently were Tai and Yamato.

"I can't believe you of all people are having a party."

"I know," I said with misery. "My friend Mimi convinced me to do it."

Tai sat up quickly. "Mimi who?"

"Uh ..."

"Mimi as in Jichu's ex-girlfriend? The slut that moved away a few years ago?"

"Maybe," I replied with a shrug. "I just met her yesterday. She doesn't seem all that bad ... she's nice."

"She's vicious," Tai spat.

"Wait." Yamato closed his eyes. "Who are we talking about?"

Tai rolled his eyes. "Oh, you know her. Remember, the girl who fucked Kiro while he was hooking up with that blond girl who sat beside you in history? Mimi Tachikawa I think, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her last name."

He smirked. "Mimi Tachikawa is honestly the most selfish person I have ever met. She fucks over every person she knows, just to let you know. I wouldn't be surprised if she was hanging out with you just to get back with Shiru. Fuck, I hate that girl."

"Have you ever even talked to her?"

"Not really," Tai said. "Don't really have a reason to."

"I heard she swings both ways," Yamato told me.

I felt my heartbeat stop. I then jumped up. "I gotta go check up on the house."

Him and Yamato nodded. I made my way through the hallway and into the kitchen to find a crowd of people surrounding the table. I pushed through and almost fainted when I realized Mimi was standing on the table stripping.

All of the boys were grinning and whistling while girls were giving Mimi dirty looks, calling her every name in the book.

She didn't seem to notice. She was too busy swaying her hips to the sound of the music and making panting noises.

She was something else.

"Mimi!" I cried.

She opened her eyes and smiled. "Sora, come here!"

Before I could say or do anything, she pulled my hand and dragged me up the table with her. I could smell nothing but alcohol coming off her. It made me nauseated and dizzy. I didn't even see her lean in to kiss me.

Then we were kissing. Like, really kissing. She gripped my hair and began clawing my back.

It was my first kiss with a girl. But it wasn't awkward, even though she was only in her bra and underwear.

She ran her tongue against mine and slowly bit my bottom lip. I couldn't help but moan, and when I did, she let out a laugh.

"I'm so drunk," she whispered to me.

I helped her off the table and sat her on a chair. "Take it easy, Mimi. Don't drink anymore tonight, okay?"

I ran into the hallway and banged on the bathroom door. While waiting, a boy I didn't know grabbed my arm and asked me if I enjoyed kissing Mimi. He then asked if I usually kiss girls when I drink, and after complimenting my fingernails the bathroom became available. I sighed with relief once I was in my safety zone and examined myself in the mirror.

After rubbing Mimi's lipstick off and fixed my white blouse, I pondered if I liked the way I looked or not.

My opinion on my appearance changes everyday. I guess when my hair's done and my make-up's on I'm not a bad-looking person. I don't particularly like the fact that I have red hair, though.

I checked my teeth and sighed. If only they were white.

Tai was waiting for me outside the bathroom door. When I came out, he said,

"You made out with Mimi? How drunk are you?"

"What?"

"She's fucking dirty, Sora. All she does is make people feel sorry for her and back stabs everyone she needs to just so she can have her way."

"It was just a kiss," I protested.

"I'm just saying in case you wanna be friends with the crazy bitch."

"Look, I'll talk to you later, okay, Tai?"

I pushed through the crowd and found myself in the living room. To my delight, I found Mimi sitting on the couch, this time wearing her jeans, looking tired and annoyed. And soon enough, I found out why.

"C'mon," a boy sitting beside her was saying. "Just one kiss."

She lazily threw his arm off her shoulder and stood up. He then followed her and shoved her against the wall, kissing her neck and holding her hips.

I went wild.

I ran over to him, pulled him by the back of his shirt, and shoved him away with every ounce of strength I had. He stumbled back and glared at me.

"What the fuck is our problem, you dumb cunt?"

"Get out of my house!" I shouted.

The music turned off and the voices were silent.

"You're a fucking dumbass bitch, you fire-crotch–"

At that moment, I saw someone grad the back of his head and shove his face against the wall.

Shiru spun him around and faced him. "Listen, you fucking moron, if I ever hear you call my girlfriend a bitch again, I'm gonna track you down and beat the fucking shit out of you. Is that something you can understand?"

"Shiru, stop!" I cried.

He looked at me. "Sora, what are you doing, anyway?"

Before I could reply, Mimi fell face first onto my hardwood floor and laid as flat as a board. I immediately rushed to her and pulled her up.

"Mimi?"

Her eyes slowly opened.

"Are you okay?"

I could tell she was completely in another world, so I pulled her towards me and helped her into the hallway. We were almost at my bedroom when she stopped and looked up at me.

"Did you get him away from me?"

"Yeah."

She smiled and closed her eyes. "No one's done that before."

"Really."

"You're like ..." She dropped her head onto my chest. "My armor."

I felt myself beam.

Then, just as I opened my bedroom door, Mimi Tachikawa threw up all over my white blouse.


	2. Sorrowing Sora

**Disclaimer**: I claim nothing.

**_My Lonely Symphony_**

**_Chapter Two: Sorrowing Sora_**

In the end, I spent four hours straight the next morning cleaning. Just as I finished vacuuming the living room floor, which was now wine-stained-free, I heard the back door open.

"Sora?"

"Hi, Mom."

My mother walked into the living room and smiled. "Hi, honey, how are you?"

Before I could reply, a man I had seen maybe once or twice before walked in behind her. The best way I can describe him is that he was tall, dark, and handsome. I eyed him carefully as he slipped an arm around my mother's waist.

He was my mother's boyfriend. I had seen him, but my mother had never actually let me meet him.

So far, I wasn't too impressed.

"Sora," my mother said, placing a hand affectionately on his chest, "this is Akio. Akio, this is my daughter Sora."

He nodded. "How are you, Sora?"

She gave me a sharp look. "Now, tell Akio what you're planning on studying after high school."

"I'm not planning anything."

"Sora here is going to be a nurse."

"Is that so?" Akio asked, seeming impressed.

"Akio's a doctor at the uptown hospital," she informed me, as if I actually cared or something. "I'm sure he can find some kind of volunteer work for girls who are looking for medical careers."

I rolled my eyes and made my way down the hall, only to hear a thrilling,

"Sora Takenouchi, don't you walk away from me. Come get to know Akio, he—"

"I don't care," I spat. "And I don't want to be a nurse; _you_ want me to be a nurse."

I continued my way down the hall and closed my bedroom door softly. I immediately leaned against the door and felt tears stinging in my eyes. I hated what my mother expected me to be. I hated that she thought I could just get over my father leaving just like that. It had been three fucking years.

So why the fuck was she bringing home doctors named Akio?

"Sora!" I heard her scream.

She then barged in with two empty beer cans. "Would you like to explain what these are?"

"Uh, cans?"

"What were they doing in my bedroom?"

Shit.

"I don't know."

"And why is there a stain on your blouse in the laundry room?"

Think fast.

"I was trying to open a bottle of soda but it got all over me."

She sighed, eying me dangerously, but left. I shook my head and stared out the window, wondering what the girl who caused the stain was doing at that moment.

Suddenly, my body jumped when my cell phone began ringing. As soon as I answered it, Shiru blurted out,

"Are you happy?"

Now that was a killer question. There was a long, thick line between being happy and enjoying the one you're with. So, I responded,

"What do you mean?"

"You know. Do I make you happy?"

I bit my lip.

I'm an honest person. I can't think of a time I lied to anyone. If your hair looks like shit and you ask me how I like it, depending on who you are, I would either change the subject or flat out say, "I think you look absolutely terrible."

I took in a deep breath. I had to let it out.

"No. You don't."

He was silent, so I went on.

"I'm sorry, Shiru. I thought I could be ready for a relationship, but I'm not. I need time by myself, especially since I'm graduating this year and need to concentrate on my studies. Is ... is that something you can understand?"

I heard him sigh. "... I guess so. Was it anything I did?"

"Not at all."

"Well, that's just ... how you feel. So, I'll just talk to you later."

And with that, the dial tone came on.

My mind then fell away from my control and began wandering.

I daydreamt I was on a flight of stairs, running as fast as I could. When I reached the top, I found a glass heel laying on a step. I turned around to see Mimi, wearing a gorgeous white ballroom dress, and I thought,

She's my Cinderella.

Is that weird?

Before I even knew what I was doing, somehow I had Mimi's number dialed and was waiting for her to pick up.

"Hello?"

Fuck, just hearing her voice was making me anxious.

"Me and Shiru just broke up."

Does that fact that I was planning on using our break-up to gain attention from Mimi make me a bad person?

"What! Why?"

"I don't know. I'm so fucking confused ..."

"Do you know where the park by the trail is? The one right by our house?"

"Yeah."

"Meet me there right now!"

Dial tone.

I didn't even try to hide my smile as I hung up the phone.

XxX

"I want you to tell me everything!"

Before I contributed to the conversation, I admired her some more. Her hair was in two loose braids, you could see her black bra through her white t-shirt, and her pink shorts gave me a great glance at her legs. The thing that really caught me off guard about her was her body – she wasn't like a model. She had curves, and they just made her look better, especially since she wore just the right outfits to define them.

I sat on a swing and closed my eyes. "He just doesn't get it."

"Get what?"

"What I'm like. And then he expects me to know everything about how he's feeling."

"Do you find that he has to make everything about him?"

I didn't at all, but I replied, "Yeah."

"And that he doesn't understand anything about how some things people say really affect you?"

I had no idea what she was talking about. "Yeah!"

She smiled. "Sora, dear, you must have forgotten I've dated him too. By the end of it, everything about him pissed me off. He was so fucking obsessed with me, like if I wasn't with him everyday all day it was just the end of the fucking world." She then pulled out something that looked like a cigarette. "He was terrified of me cheating on him."

"Really? Why?"

She shrugged. "He told me he's heard shit about me. So what? Anyone can make something up."

"What did he hear?"

"Oh, that I kept trying to fuck his best friend and that I was fucking my ex-boyfriend."

I decided it was probably best if I didn't ask her whether or not those things were true.

She leaned her head on the chain of the swing. "It's funny what some people make up. Did you know someone actually told everyone that I was lying about being in jail?"

"You were in jail?"

She grinned and nodded. "Sure was."

"What? When?"

"Last year."

"For what?"

She held the cigarette up. "Possession. Good thing they didn't know I was a dealer, too."

That was when I realized it wasn't a cigarette. "Mimi, is that a joint?"

She laughed. "Well, yeah. What did you think it was?"

She pulled out matches from her pocket and lit it with ease.

"Mimi, what do you think you're doing? If someone walks by and sees you, they'll call the police!"

I watched smoke flow from her mouth as her smile widened. "My mom's boyfriend is a lawyer. He could help me out of it. And besides, no one ever comes to this park anyway. They all think it's haunted or some shit."

She handed me the burning marijuana cigarette.

I shook my head. "No, thank you."

"Come on, Sora. It'll make you feel better."

"People don't need drugs to make them happy."

"Oh, don't believe all that bullshit people say about pot. They're just trying to keep it illegal. C'mon ..." She looked at me and fluttered her eyelashes. "Don't you trust me?"

I was sold.

I took a long inhale off of it before coughing the smoke out. It didn't taste terrible – it was better than a cigarette – but it fucking killed my throat.

Mimi padded my back. "It's all right. Coughing makes you ten times more stoned."

Ten minutes after we finished the joint, my vision was starting to become sharper and my mind began turning into a huge blank. Suddenly, I didn't care. I didn't care about anything.

"How's it going?" Mimi asked in a teasing tone.

I looked at her and smiled. "Good. You?"

My voice made me chuckle. Then I couldn't stop laughing. Mimi just stared at me for a few minutes before laughing too. We probably looked like fucking idiots, but I didn't care. My mind was in another world.

When I wiped away my tears, the beauty beside me sighed.

"You're funny."

I beamed. "Really?"

"Yeah. And you don't look like the kind of girl to tell everyone someone's secrets or something."

I snorted. "What would be the point of doing that?"

She looked at the ground. "I don't know."

At that moment, my cell phone began ringing. I cleared my throat, took in a deep breath, and answered it.

"Hey," Tai said.

"What's up, Tai?"I asked in an overly-friendly voice. "What are you up to? What's up?"

"Uh, what are you doing?"

I had another laughing fit before replying, "Nothing."

"Sora, are ... are you stoned?"

"No."

"Holy fuck, me and Yama have been trying to get you baked for so long! Who are you with, anyway?"

"Just Mimi."

Silence.

"What?" I snapped.

"You're with Mimi Tachikawa? Why?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because me and Shiru broke up, so I'm smoking dope with her to mend my pain."

"So you called her? ... I would have liked to know about that, Sora."

I snorted. "Are you getting pissed at me because I'm smoking weed with her and not you?"

"No, I just don't know why you're so fucking obsessed with her. How many people have told you she's a stuck up skank?"

"Look, Tai, I'm sorry I'm not as judgmental as you are, okay? And I'm sorry I have friends other than you and Yamato."

I slammed my phone closed and shook my head. "Sorry, Mimi."

She just smirked. "It's all right." She stared at her feet. "I'm used to being disliked."

XxX

"Tai's just being a complete drama queen," Yamato assured me, spinning around on my computer chair. "He'll get over it. I think he's just jealous you're spending so much time with Mimi."

I sighed. "Why does everyone hate her?"

He shrugged. "She gets around."

"I sorta feel sorry for her."

"Really? Why?"

"I don't know ... maybe there's a reason she gets around."

He chuckled softly. "She's a spoiled brat, Sora. That's why she gets around."

"How do you know that?"

"Do you ever wonder why she looks so good all the time? It's because her parents are mad-fucking-rich. She's got money to go to a hair salon everyday, buy a new outfit every hour, and getting manicures and pedicures anytime she wants. She's spoiled."

"Well ... I don't think that's why she's like that. I think there's something more to Mimi than everyone already knows."

Yamato glanced at me, unconvinced. "Don't lose sleep over it, Sora. I know you."

"What?"

"I know you. I know perfectly well that since you've met her, you've probably been staying up all night thinking about her, wanting to help her or something."

I didn't reply.

"Sora, I'm just gonna say this – people can't be helped unless they want to be helped. Mimi wants to be a slut. It's probably how she gets confidence."

"Maybe she's really the most insecure person in the world."

He smirked. "I doubt that."

And then, I heard yelling and dishes breaking and the door slamming from the kitchen. I jumped up, as if a reflex, and bolted down the hall to see my mother on her knees, picking up shards of broken glass from the tiled floor.

"Honey, would you mind giving me a hand?"

I did so and looked around. "Uh ... what happened?"

"Oh, Akio just had a hard day."

"What?"

"He lost his job, so I picked him up from the bar and, well ... he had a few too many drinks."

"Oh, great, so he's a drinker, too."

She looked at me sternly. "That's not true, Sora. Before tonight he hadn't drank in years."

"Where did he go?"

"I'm not sure."

I flew my arms out with confusion. "So he started screaming at you, broke your dishes, and then left?"

She said nothing more and quickly swept up the tiny pieces of glass and used the dustpan to put them in the garbage.

I made my way back to my bedroom slowly. And then I saw Yamato's smirk just as he said,

"She's almost as much of a pushover as you are."

XxX

"C'mon, Mimi, one more shot!"

Mimi laughed. "Well, okay."

The boy whose house the party was at overflowed Mimi's shot glass with straight vodka. We all watched her drain it down effortlessly and slam the glass down back onto the table.

"You all right, Meems?" I asked.

She turned to me, almost cross-eyed. "I feel fucking awesome. How about you, Sora dear? Feeling buzzed yet?"

I laughed. "I haven't drank anything."

"What!" She shook her head. "Sora, you're getting drunk. I've never even seen you drink before!"

"No, I don't think so."

"Why not?" She pouted. Fuck, she looked sexy ...

"I don't drink."

"C'mon, Sora."

I ignored her and twisted the cap back onto the bottle. She then surprised me by tucking my hair behind my ear. She kissed my cheek, sending shivers down my spine, and bit my neck lightly. I gripped the table as hard as I could to keep from losing my mind.

"Take a shot," she whispered in my ear.

So I did.

And seven shots later, the walls were fucking spinning.

Everywhere I looked just seemed like one big blur. I could hear people talking, but it was difficult to word out exactly what they were saying. It quickly came to the point where I was unable to control what I was doing.

"What are you up to?" someone asked me, their voice filled with interest.

I turned around and looked up at a boy I didn't seem to know. "Who are you?"

"I'm Hachi. And you are?"

"Sora."

He placed his hand on the wall. "That's a pretty name."

I shrugged. "I like it all right."

He leaned in closer. "Looks like you've had a few drinks."

Before I could reply, he was kissing me and grinding me up against the wall. I didn't even realize we were kissing until I felt his hand make its way up my shirt. I don't know why I kept letting him kiss me; it was most likely because I was too tired to push him away.

"Hachi, do you plan on hitting on all of the girls here?"

Hachi pulled away from me and glared at Mimi. "Get your foot out of my ass, Mimi. I'm busy."

"Yeah, I noticed. Taking advantage of drunk girls is quite time consuming."

He snorted. "Oh yeah, like you can say anything. Everyone knows exactly who the biggest whore here is."

Mimi's superior expression shattered.

I immediately snapped, "Hachi, shut your fucking mouth before _my_ foot gets shoved up your ass." I stepped away and grabbed Mimi's hand and led her to the bathroom.

As soon as we were inside, she shut the door and aggressively pushed me against the wall. She bit my neck again, harder this time, digging her nails into my shoulder blades. And then she kissed me, her fingers running wildly through my hair and her chest pressed against mine.

I could have melted.

I needed her.

Fuck, I needed her so much.

"Sora," she said, almost in a whisper.

"Yeah?"

She smiled. "You look really, really good tonight."

My heart skipped a beat.

She opened the door, fixing her hair, and returned to the party, leaving me to feel a mixture of extreme happiness and utter confusion.

XxX

I decided not to bring up the kiss to Mimi. I mean, she was so drunk, she probably didn't even remember it happening.

So the next day, we were sitting on my bed when she pulled out a large colorful sculpture. A smile approached her face.

"When's your mom coming home?"

"Probably late."

She nodded. "Good."

"What is that?"

She looked at me as if I had two heads. "This bong? Haven't you ever seen one before?"

"What the fuck do you do with it?"

She laughed and padded my hair, smiling gracefully. "I hate that I'm taking away your innocence. You smoke weed out of this thing."

For the next hour, we smoked gram after gram in my room, blowing our smoke out of the window, and experiencing deadly coughing fits. I had no idea what being stoned was that time I smoke the joint – this was nothing like any feeling I'd ever felt before.

It must have been when I realized how red Mimi's eyes were that I heard the back door open and shut.

I drastically waved out the remaining smoke, demanding Mimi to put her bong away.

"You're fucking pathetic," a man, most likely Akio, was saying in the hallway. "Your daughter's in there smoking pot, and you're gonna do nothing about it?"

Mimi gave me a worried glance. I listened as hard as I could to hear my mother's reply, but the only thing I could make out was her apology. Then I heard stomping and my bedroom door swung opened.

Akio shook his head at me, standing unstably. "Sora, just what in hell do you think you're doing?"

I said nothing.

He walked closer to us. "Well? You think you can do shit like this without any consequences?"

The smell of his breath reminded me of the night that Mimi chugged a 26 of rum.

"Well, Sora?"

"What is your problem?" Mimi snapped.

He suddenly glared at her with disbelief. "Excuse me?"

"Look at the situation. You're obviously drunk as hell right now, and you're yelling at your girlfriend's daughter for smoking pot. Do you think you can actually have any say? Do you think you're any kind of great influence on her? Get a fucking life, you stuck-up jackass. Maybe then you can get your job back."

He stared at her, his expression filled with shock. Then, wordlessly, he left.

I turned to Mimi to thank her, but before I could get the words out I noticed a tear dropping from her eye.

"Meems, what's wrong?"

She began sobbing hysterically, causing me to feel completely awkward and unsure of what to do.

"Mimi?"

She wiped her eyes with her palm and said, "Can I tell you something really personal?"

"Of course."

She looked out the window, her voice cracking. "When I lived in America ..." Her hands trembled on her lap. "My father was drinking ... and ..."

I put a hand on her knee.

"... and he used to abuse me."

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. I had no idea what to say. I mean, what could you say to something like that? I felt deep sorrow for her, a yearning to help her. Everyday I was getting to know Mimi more, and everyday my heart would open up to her even more than it already was.

"Meems ... I'm sorry."

She leaned her head onto my chest and sobbed. I stroked her hair, closing my eyes.

"Sora?"

"Mhm?"

She sighed. "You're such a good friend."


	3. Frantic Needs

**Disclaimer**: I don't claim anything.

**A/N**: Rating has changed. Sorry about taking so long. Hope you enjoy it!

_**My Lonely Symphony**_

_**Chapter Three: Frantic Needs**_

"So I take it Tai's still pissed at me?"

Yamato gave me a guilty smile. "Well, I wouldn't say he's pissed at you. He just needs to get the fuck over himself."

"Oh. So he is."

We were sitting on a slide in a park near my street. I could remember when we were little, we would spend the day at that park, playing and laughing like it was our life. Why was everything so simple back then?

"Honestly, Sora, I'm worried about you."

I laughed. "Worried? Why?"

"Look, I think it's great that you're socializing and making new friends. I really do. But I want you to be careful with Mimi. I've heard a shitload of stories about her, and … I just hate to think about your friendship being one where she's walking all over you."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "You're a nice girl, Sora. What if she wanted to take advantage of you?"

"She's not a fifty-year-old rapist."

He smirked. "You know what I mean."

I stared into the sky with a frown, wondering if I should tell Yamato to fuck off or listen to his advice. It seemed like everyone thought nothing of Mimi other than her being a slutty, selfish bitch. Why couldn't anyone feel like I felt towards her?

"You know," I said, "there's a lot about Mimi people don't know about."

"Like what?"

I hesitated. "Don't tell anyone I told you this, but she told me her dad used to abuse her in America."

He shook his head. "That's terrible. But it really wouldn't surprise me if she was just saying that for attention."

"Oh, come on, Yamato!"

"Well, I'm just saying! She told everyone Ayumu raped her."

I gazed at a cloud shaped like a ladder and shrugged. "And you're automatically assuming he didn't?"

"Sora, if he did, I'd like to think she would have pressed charges or something. Not go around telling everyone without doing anything about it."

I sighed.

"Why do you keep defending her?"

I could have replied, but in all honesty, I had no idea why.

XxX

The next month went by pretty fast.

Tai continued ignoring me, which made me feel like shit, and Yamato showed me sympathy for it by sending me cute text messages and making time for me. Shiru was going through desperate measures to get back together with me, even though I ignored him at all costs. And, despite every warning, message, and conversation about how I should leave her alone, Mimi and I were becoming really close. She even went to my graduation ceremony.

It was around the halfway point in the summer when my mother announced Akio, her boyfriend, was going to move in with us. I wouldn't have minded so much if the reason wasn't because he lost his job from showing up drunk too much, and as a result got evicted from his apartment. So, even though I protested as much as humanly possible, he moved in by the next week.

Things had gone from fucked up to horrible.

One specific day, I was getting ready for a party when the usual yelling and such was heard from the living room. I ignored it until I heard Akio refer to my mother as a whore.

A "_stupid_ whore," to be exact.

I sprinted from the bathroom and rushed over to them, screaming,

"Don't you ever call my mother a whore!"

He turned to me. "What do you want, Sora? You're just a spitting image of that mother of yours, aren't you?"

My mom looked over at me calmly. "Sora, honey, please just go to your room. I–"

"Fuck you, Akio."

That's when he grabbed my arm and shouted, "What did you just say to me?"

_I won't be like my mother._

_I won't be like my mother._

_I won't be like my fucking mother._

"I _said_, 'Fuck you.'"

"Oh, so you think you're a little tough girl or something?" he asked, pulling me toward him. "You think you can walk around here, mouthing off like you own the fucking place?"

"You think you can pretend like you own the place?" I cried. "The only reason you're here is because you're too much of a drunken fucking idiot to be a mature adult and—"

When I saw his hand pull back, I froze.

"Sora!"

We all turned around to see Shiru, staring at us with a look of horror spread on his face. He ran over to me and pulled me by my arm away for Akio.

"What is going on?" he demanded to know.

Before I could reply, I had fallen to the ground in tears, shaking and unable to stand up again.

Shiru picked me up and carried me to the door. "You're gonna stay at my place, okay?"

Trembling, I nodded.

XxX

Needless to say, Shiru and I were back together.

I didn't know what else to do. He had saved me, so wouldn't it have been selfish if I told him I still felt the same way?

He told me he came over because he had a terrible feeling about me. I decided it was ridiculously sweet of him, but I felt uneven about the situation. I mean, I didn't want him to be my boyfriend, but I could tell he didn't want to be my friend.

I felt stuck.

Does that make me incredibly self-involved?

Shiru had gotten himself a small apartment when he was in his senior year, as he's two years older than me, so it was nice to have our own place.

It's just hard to live with someone you know has feelings for you, but no matter how hard you try, you can't return them.

"Aw!" Yamato cried when I explained the story to him. "I fucking love Shiru sometimes."

"Yeah," I agreed. "He's a good guy."

When I explained the story to Mimi, however, had a different reaction.

"I'm coming over."

And, before I could say anything, the dial tone buzzed in my ear.

Shiru had gone to work for the day, so I didn't immediately protest when Mimi pulled out two joints. And then my mind forced me to realize how much of a terrible idea it was.

"Meems, Shiru would be so mad at me."

"How would he even know? He doesn't get home until five, right?"

"Well, yeah, but …"

She smiled. "Then don't worry about it. Why do you worry so damn much?"

How could I say no to a girl with pouty lips and batting eyes?

So, nearly everyday for the next week or so, I had a little routine going on. I would wake up, cook breakfast, wait for Mimi to show up, smoke a bunch of dope, cook dinner for Shiru and me, watch TV, then go to sleep to do the same thing over again.

One day, Mimi surprised me with her bong.

In the middle of our session, Mimi asked casually,

"So how is living with Shiru?"

"Good," I replied.

She smiled. "Yeah, I'll bet."

Before I could say another word, she blurted out, "So did ya fuck him yet?"

I laughed nervously. "Um…no…"

"Sora!" She covered her face with sheer disappointment. "I'm getting really impatient here. When's it gonna happen?"

I shrugged. "I really don't know."

Suddenly, a banging came from the door, followed by,

"Shiru?"

I froze.

"Shiru, it's your landlord. Open up."

Mimi and I exchanged horrified looks and sunk deeper into the couch.

"Well go answer it!" Mimi told me.

I slowly stood up, and when I opened the door, a middle-aged woman greeted me with a glare.

"You're the one staying with Shiru?"

"Yeah."

"Is he here?"

"No…"

She sighed. "Look, sweetie, Shiru's been living here for quite some time, and I've never had any problems until you moved in. I'm well aware you and your little friend there are smoking pot." She smiled, but not joyfully. "I'm not an idiot, honey. And if you don't tell Shiru tonight what you've been doing, I will. You're lucky I don't call the goddamn police on you."

And with that, she stormed off.

I shut the door and turned to Mimi. "Fuck me."

Mimi erupted in laughter. "Holy shit, that was close!"

"What do you mean 'close?' I have to tell Shiru I was smoking weed in his apartment! He's gonna be so pissed …"

She took my hand with a smile. "Relax, Sora. Everything will be fine."

Feeling her hand on mine was enough to make me relax.

XxX

"I had a fucking long day at work."

I watched Shiru drop his keys on the coffee table and replied sheepishly, "Really?"

"Yes, really. Everyone was bitching at me here and there, and no matter what I did for my manager, he still found a way to piss me off and make me do something else." He let out a long sigh. "How was your day, babe?"

"Well, a really funny thing happened."

"What?"

I laughed nervously before answering, "Your landlord caught me smoking pot in here, and she gave me a pretty strict warning."

Without even looking at him, I knew his expression was a mixture of shock and anger.

"Um … what?"

"But I promise, Shiru, it won't happen again."

"You were doing drugs in my apartment?"

"No, it wasn't like–"

"Wow, Sora." He smirked with annoyance. "That's a great way to say thank you for letting you stay here."

"Why are you allowed to be sarcastic but every time I am, you snap at me?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Look, I can understand that you're pissed about this, but come on. No one's perfect. I'm sorry, okay?"

His expression made no changed, so I tried the one thing I knew would make him happy.

I kissed him.

He quickly kissed me back, wrapping his hands around my back and grinding his body against mine. He then slipped a hand up my shirt and began fondling my breasts. When he broke the kiss, he looked at me as if expecting something.

"Can I?"

"What?"

He smiled. "Can I fuck you?"

I kissed him again to avoid answering. He rubbed his finger roughly between my legs, bringing awkward feelings throughout my body. I then felt him pull down my pants and kiss up my leg.

And, before I knew it, I felt him move inside me.

I was having sex.

I watched him thrust forward and backward, his eyes shut and moans coming from his mouth. It sort of hurt for a few seconds, but afterwards it just felt uncomfortable.

This was sex?

I remembered Mimi telling me how awesome it was to get laid, but frankly I felt nothing but soreness and awkwardness.

Shiru then lifted my legs and placed them over his shoulders.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to me.

I thought of Mimi.

I thought of how she looked that day, her hair perfectly straightened, her jeans skin-tight, her shirt low-cut, and her high heels complimenting her legs…

I thought of how she moved her hips when she walked.

I thought of how she kissed me, pushing me against a wall, pressing her chest against mine, and her mouth tasting like cherries.

Could I ever meet someone as perfect as her?

I thought of her kissing my chest, biting and teasing my nipples.

A moan escaped from my mouth.

That's when I started enjoying this.

I thought of her biting and kissing down my stomach, feeling her teeth pull down my pants and feeling her tongue rub against me, her fingers inside of me, her hair falling on my thighs, her…

And then, as soon as I thought of my own tongue on her chest, my breathing quickened. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I let out a long moan.

I felt Shiru lean back and freeze for a few seconds before he crashed beside me and kissed along my neck.

"Oh, Sora…"

I smile half-heartedly.

"I love you so much," he was saying.

I had just had sex, but the only thing going through my mind was her.

Her long flowing brown hair, her full lips curved in a smile showing off her straight white teeth, her body, her voice…

I needed her.

I needed her more every day.

XxX

She told me she wasn't going to drunk that night.

She told me to make sure she didn't consume any alcoholic beverage.

I tried my hardest. I really did. When Mimi tells me to do something, I do anything I can to follow her demands. But when you're at a friend's open-house party and people are offering her shots left and right, it's kind of hard to tell her to say no to every one.

I was pretty proud of her. At ten o'clock, she hadn't drank anything. I thought because of that I was safe to go to the bathroom.

But, of course, when I returned, she was hammered.

"Mimi, what the fuck did you do when I was gone?"

She showed me and empty pint of vodka. "Chugged this."

"You weren't supposed to drink!"

She shrugged and smiled. "Oops."

By ten-thirty, she was hitting on virtually every boy that walked into the room, fell off every chair she sat on, and forced me to take three shots of whiskey.

"Mimi, I think you should drink some water," I advised her.

She nodded. "I think…"

"_Mimi Tachikawa, I am going to kick your motherfucking ass_!"

Everyone turned to look at a dark-haired girl who was quickly approaching us. I recognized her from school – Kilee something. Why was she so sore on Mimi?

Mimi seemed completely oblivious to what was happening until Kilee grabbed her hair and dragged her to the ground.

"Cat fight!" someone cried and a crowd formed immediately.

I couldn't see what was happening until some girl pulled the two apart, claiming no fighting was going to go on in her house.

Kilee shoved the girl off her and turned to face Mimi sharply. "You know, Mimi, there's not one person in this room that respects you. Everyone knows you're a whore who would fuck anything with two legs."

"Kilee, it isn't my fault your boyfriend wants to fuck me."

Her mouth opened with shock. "Well, he doesn't. Why the hell would he want an S.T.D. from some skank that no one likes?"

"Really?" Mimi smiled. "Then why has he fucked me four times in the past month and told me numerous times I'm way better in bed than you?"

Laughter erupted from the audience.

Kilee looked around nervously. "I'm pretty sure every girl in Japan is tired of you sleeping with their boyfriends."

"Well, if you guys were half as good as I am, we wouldn't be having this problem."

"You fucking bitch!" Kilee cried, dashing to Mimi and another fight began.

I'm not sure why I did this, but I made my way through the crowd, took Kilee by the hair, and pulled her away from Mimi.

"What the fuck is your problem!" she shouted. "Oh, you're that girl that follows the hooker around every where she goes. You should tell your little skanky friend to take her ass back to the States. No one here wants her. Except maybe your dyke-ass."

That's when Mimi took off her heel and slammed it against the back of Kilee's head.

XxX

Mimi was laughing by the time we reached an upstairs bedroom.

"Did you see her face when I hit her? Did you?"

"Yeah. Her eyes rolled back and she hit the floor."

She then crashed onto the bed and let out a sigh. "I wish I wasn't so drunk right now."

I sat beside her and kicked off my shoes. "You're not gonna throw up, are you?"

Instead of being sick, she started to cry.

"It's just so hard," she said, wiping her cheeks with her sleeve. "Everyone in Japan just thinks I'm a whore. I miss America, Sora. I just felt like I belonged there."

"I know."

"I don't even like having sex that much. Did you know that? I just like the thought of someone wanting me."

I nodded and put my hand on her knee. "You don't need a boy to give you confidence."

"But I do! I've never had a boyfriend for longer than a week, and you're the only girl who's ever even shown interest in being friends with me. All of the other girls just hate me and think I'm a skank or something."

"But you're not."

She laughed. "I am, Sora. I know it. You can't get much sluttier than me."

"Mimi, come on, look at you! You're the most gorgeous girl I've ever met. I mean, you're smarter than you think you are, you're talented, you're sexy…"

She sniffed. "Really? I think I'm tragic looking."

"How could you even think that? You're so fucking…"

"Sora, kiss me."

"What?"

And then we were kissing, her hands placed softly on my cheeks and her lips motioning slowly. Suddenly, it become a little rougher when she sat on top of me, grinding and biting my bottom lip.

I wanted her.

I wanted her so fucking bad.

Hell, I needed her.

She began undoing her buttons of her blouse and revealed her black lace bra, whispering, "Kiss my chest."

So I did.

I sucked and bit and kissed along her breasts, biting and teasing her nipples as she laid out on the bed.

"Ohh, Sora…"

Hearing her say my name was enough to encourage me to keep going.

I kissed down her stomach, unsure of what to do next.

"Fuck me, Sora…"

Then I became a completely different person.

I undid her shorts and pulled them down, kissing up her silky leg and pulling her thong down with my teeth. I slid my fingers inside of her, watching her expression change to impatient and full of pleasure.

"You're so fucking sexy, Sora…"

I began tonguing her, my fingers thrusting in and out of her, listening to her encouraging moans and loving the way her body was twisting.

"Sora…I need you…"

I could have froze.

That was exactly what I needed to hear.

I quickened my pace and continued tonguing her, adding a third finger and feeling her legs wrap around my neck. It was all about her. As long as she was being pleasured, I was happy.

She then leaned her head back, tensed her body, and I knew she had had an orgasm.

"Kiss me," she demanded, and I did so.

"Don't ever leave me," she whispered, and I told her I'd be crazy to.

"I need you," she panted.

"Mimi…" I said.

I needed her so much, it could have driven me insane.


	4. Heartbreaker

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters in this story! Don't sue me :3

**A/N**: God, finally an update! I'm only the worst writer in the entire world, haha... I am so sorry for taking so long, but please review to let me know how you like this chapter! Unfortunately, the next chapter will be the end of this fic. I loved writing it, and can't wait to see feedback on it! Thank you, my loyal readers!

Please enjoy!

_**My Lonely Symphony**_

_**Chapter Four: Heartbreaker**_

I don't think I was a "goody-two-shoes" growing up. I think I was just raised properly. My mother taught me manners - very good manners. My teachers always liked me because I was so polite and never acted out. I was always liked by classmates because I was so quiet and never protested anything.

Unforunately, my mother also taught me other things.

Even though she was the kindest, most gentle person in the world, she was also, well...

A push-over.

My mother and I had a curse: we could never think for ourselves. That summer, the only time I saw her was when we went out to supper together. I wasn't allowed at her house, because her asshole of a boyfriend didn't like me.

And what he wanted, he got. My mother would never talk back to him.

All I wanted to do was break up with Shiru. That was _all_ I wanted to do. I wanted to tell him that I didn't love him. It seemed so simple.

But when he would come home from work and look at me with those eyes...

I couldn't do it. I couldn't break up with him. Shiru was so sweet and kind, and all the things that a girl could ever possibly need from a boy. He was obsessed with me, he saved me, he let me live with him and asked for nothing in return, and he gave me all the attention in the world.

However ... it wasn't there.

The need to hug him, kiss him, be held by him ... it wasn't there. All I wanted to do was hug Mimi, kiss Mimi, and hold Mimi.

Am I a freak?

Because I stayed with Shiru, I expected Mimi to have a mental breakdown. I expected her to never speak to me again. I mean, we fooled around - how was I supposed to explain to her that nothing would happen between us?

And then, the next weekend, she called me.

"Where have you been?" she shrieked. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!"

My body was uplifted by hearing her voice again. "Mimi!"

"What are you doing right now?"

I shrugged. "Nothing. Shiru's at work till five or something like that."

"Is it cool if I come over? I have to show you something."

"Yeah, of course."

She told me she would be there as soon as possible, and in a matter of seconds, I heard a horn honk from the parking lot.

She got a brand new car.

And I don't mean a car that any teenager would have...

A _brand new_ car.

XxX

We went around for a cruise, and anytime I expected Mimi to say something like, "So when are you breaking up with Shiru?" or, "So about last weekend..." she would suddenly say something like,

"I started smoking again."

Or,

"I look _hidious_ today."

She wasn't dressed up at all. She had her hair thrown up in a bun on the top of her head, she was wearing what seemed to be a boy's T-shirt, and she didn't have a single drop of make-up on her face. I had never seen her like this before.

But she was still the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my life. She was _so_ perfect.

As she lit her fourth cigarette in the matter of fifteen minutes, she asked me if I wanted to go to a party with her that night.

"I don't know, Meems," I replied, wishing with every burning desire I could. "Me and Shiru made plans to go out for supper, and we haven't done anything in a really long time. I think he'd be pissed if I ditched him."

She sighed. "Okay, I guess that's a reasonable excuse."

When she pouted, I wanted to cry. Just to bite her lip again, to kiss her neck again, to lick her breast again, to...

"So, I met this guy."

My heart shattered in my chest.

"A ... a guy?"

"Yeah. I snuck into a bar last night, and this guy - I think his name was Haruka - bought me a few drinks. I didn't really like him at first but he grew on me. I usually don't go for older guys... What do you think?"

I didn't know how to answer. The last thing I expected was for her to start talking about liking a new boy instead of talking to me about hooking up with her.

"How old is he?" I found myself asking.

"Twenty-two, so that's not _that_ bad. Right?"

"I guess not."

She smiled and tossed on a pair of sunglasses. "Well, we ended up fucking in the bathroom."

Okay, _that _was what I least expected.

"What?"

"I know!" She laughed. "I've never done anything like that before, but it was really fun! And -"

I was so shocked, I couldn't listen to her anymore. The only thing I wanted to do was go home, lay in bed, and cry my fucking eyes out. Why couldn't I just forget about Mimi? Why was she always on my mind? Why, even after she had fucked me over like this, did I want to just grab her and kiss her so bad?

I told her to drop me off at the apartment.

The first thing I did when I opened the entry-way door was fall onto the floor and cry.

I cried until I thought I was going to throw up.

I cried until my eyes were so swollen, they couldn't close.

I cried until I called Yamato.

XxX

"Sora!"

I tried to respond, but all I could manage was a mumble.

"Come on, Sora," Yamato said, lifting me up and carrying me up the stairs. "It'll be all right. We'll go in your place, make some coffee, and talk, okay?"

I nodded.

"Okay."

We entered my apartment and made our way to the couch. I was still bawling my eyes out as Yamato brought in two mugs of coffee and a bowl of sugar.

"What happened?" he finally asked.

"Mimi..."

He sighed. "Mimi?"

"I thought something would _actually_ happen with us. I thought she cared about me, I thought she needed me like I needed her."

"Why are you so crazy about her?"

"I don't know!" I cried, leaning my head back to look at the ceiling. "I don't understand it either! There's just something about her ... I just wanna help her. I just want to show her that you don't have to sleep with a guy to be happy. I don't know. There's a side to her that she doesn't show anyone but me."

He shook his head. "But she's so flaunty and cocky."

"But she's not! She hates herself!"

Yamato placed a hand on my knee as he explained, "No one's perfect, Sora. And I know you feel like this towards Mimi, but what if she doesn't feel this way towards girls?"

"We fooled around last weekend."

"Um ... what?"

"At that party where Kilee tried to fight her. We went to a bedroom, fooled around, and it was the best night of my life."

"So why are you so upset?"

I threw my arms out with disgust as I cried, "She fucked someone else!"

"When?"

"Last night! And she told me about it like it wasn't a big deal."

"Sora, she doesn't see things the same way you do. You're so ... naive and you're so full of passion. I think Mimi's problem is that she's been through so much, she just wants people to think she's normal, but she caught up in trying to be normal, yet trying to stand out."

I didn't understand a word he said. Mimi didn't try to be any of those things. She was just _Mimi_. She was just a girl who wasn't afraid of anyone. She was herself, and anyone who didn't like her could go fuck themselves. She didn't care what anyone thought of her.

That's what I _thought_, anyway.

"I wish Tai wasn't mad at me," I muttered, rubbing my eyes. "We've been friends for so long, and then he just dropped me as if I was nothing."

"Tai isn't mad at you," Yamato argued. "He thinks _you_ dropped _him _like he was nothing. He's jealous that you're spending all this time with Mimi and that you don't make time for him."

I had never looked at it like that. I just thought Tai was pissed at me for being friends with a slut. But, looking back, I realized I did put Mimi in front of them. I put her in front of _everything_. I had a party just because she said so. I smoked pot just because she pouted at me. I did everything I would _never_ do just because of Mimi.

I had to make things right with Tai.

"I'm such a terrible friend."

And the tears started again.

"Hey!" Yamato put his coffee down and spread an arm around my shoulder. "Cheer up, buttercup. You aren't a bad friend at all! You were just in a daze."

"I wish my mom could break up with Akio."

"I know."

"I wish Mimi could realize how beautiful life is."

"I know."

"I wish Shiru wasn't doing all this for me."

"I know."

We sat together in silence for a few moments before Yamato said,

"Someday you'll have to realize you can't help the entire world."

XxX

Shiru never came home from work that night.

I tried not to worry about it too much until about six-thirty. I mean, how hard was it to leave a message or a text or a note saying he wouldn't be home at his usual timing? Not only was I actually looking forward to seeing him, but I had already been having a horrible day.

I texted him. No reply.

I called him. No reply.

The rings seemed endless before I lost hope and hung up.

Around eight o'clock I realized he may still be working. On saturday nights, it could get pretty busy at that restaurant. He probably had to fill in for someone who called in sick or something.

At eight-thirty, I grabbed the phone book to call his work.

The woman who answered informed me that Shiru left from work a "few hours ago."

I was losing my mind.

I called the police station to ask them what I'd have to do to report a missing person.

"Who is missing?"

"My boyfriend. His name is Shiru. He - "

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Right before lunch, he was going to work and he was supposed to be home around five. But he hasn't shown up."

The police officer was being very calm and polite when he told me I had to wait another twenty-four hours before he can be filed as a missing person. As I was only his girlfriend, not his mother or his common-law wife, I couldn't do much about it.

I then called the hospital to see if he was there.

After being on hold for what felt like hours, I was finally informed that there was no one in the emergency room department by the name of Shiru. Any other departments patients were in I wasn't allowed to know about due to some confidentiality agreement or something.

At nine-thirty, my phone rang.

"Hello?" I almost shouted, not evening bothering to wait for the second ring.

"Sora!"

Mimi.

I guess I didn't bother to check the caller ID either.

"You're coming to the party, aren't you?"

Understanding Mimi when she was drunk was a skill. Especially when it was over the phone.

"No. I'm supposed to go out with Shiru, remember?"

"Oh _yeah,_ Shiru," she said, almost giggling. "You're so awesome, Sora. I should come pick you up."

"You brought your car to the party?"

She snorted. "Duh. How else am I gonna get home?"

"Mimi! You can't drink and drive! Do you have any idea how many people get into accidents because of drinking and - "

And then she hung up. For about half an hour, I figured she was going to pick me up anyway.

But she never did.

I cried for a few hours. I couldn't help it. When I woke up that day, I thought I had so much. I thought Shiru was in love with me to no end. I thought Mimi was mad at me for not leaving him to be with her. And now, it was clear to me. Neither of them cared. I was back to where I started.

I was completely alone.

It wasn't until eleven o'clock when I finally decided to call Tai.

I expected him to sound pissed to hear from me. Instead, he was overjoyed.

"Sora! Oh my God, I am so sorry about everything, about being such a dick."

"No, it's okay. I'm sorry too."

"What are you doing tonight? Do you have plans with Shiru?"

I wanted to tell him that Shiru never showed up, but I didn't want Tai to think that was the only reason I was calling him. So, I replied,

"No. No plans tonight."

"Yamato and me were supposed to go to one of my friend's get-together thing. Do you wanna come? Yamato has to work tomorrow morning so he decided not to go."

I didn't exactly want to go, but for Tai, I would have done anything to repair our friendship.

XxX

"That was nice of Shiru," Tai was saying as we turned onto the street. "I mean, not a lot of guys would have enough balls to talk to their girlfriend's stepfather like that."

"Akio is _not _my stepdad."

"You know what I mean."

I looked at all the cars lined up on the street and raised my eyebrows. "I thought you said this was a get-together."

"Yeah, I thought it was, too." He shrugged and parked on the side of the road. "Word probably got around. You know how this town it - takes about two days for everyone to hear everything."

God, was that ever the truth.

As we made our way to the front door, laughing without a care, I realized how much I missed Tai. He and Yamato were great friends to have. Yamato was good to talk about personal issues to, and Tai was just good to goof around with. He was so funny.

Before we walked through the door, I stopped dead in my tracks and nearly gasped.

Mimi's car was on the street.

She was at this party.

She was _here!_

I didn't bother telling Tai because he hated her guts anyway. My heart was pounding as we entered the house. What if Meems tried to kiss me again, or talk to us, or...

"I don't know anyone in here!" Tai was screaming.

"Me neither."

The party was like any other party I had been to. There was way too many people crowding around, the music was playing so loud my ears hurt, and the smell of beer and smoke was making my stomach turn. Going to that party reminded me of how much I fucking hated parties in the first place.

I couldn't see Mimi anywhere, so I figured she had gotten a taxi home or something. Thank God - she sounded trashed when she called me.

The house was beautiful. It was an opened-concept house, so you could see all the rooms through huge doorways and you could see up the spiral staircase.

"Wanna go upstairs?" Tai asked me - well, shouted in my ear.

I nodded.

Tai began shoving people out of the way as we made our way to the staircase.

But then, something unexpected happened.

Shiru was coming down the stairs.

Shiru was a_t this fucking party!_

He didn't notice me at first, but when I saw the hickey on his neck, I made sure he could see me.

And I punched him in the face.

It was awesome.

I, Sora, a nervous wreck, punched someone.

I thought about how Mimi didn't want me, how Shiru lied, and how my mother would never do that for herself.

"What the fuck!" Shiru cried.

Tai grabbed me as he shouted, "What was that for?"

"He lied to me! He cheated, look at the fucking hickey on his neck!"

"Sora, please let me explain!"

And then, time stopped.

The most beautiful girl I had ever seen started walking down the stairs. She was wearing pink high-heeled boots that came up to her knees. She was wearing a skirt so short, I could see what color her thong was. Her shirt was so low, you could see the middle hook of her black bra. She had gorgeous blond hair that was messily tossed to one side, and the only flaw with her make-up was that her eye shadow on her left eye was smudged.

It was Mimi.

Mimi had slept with Shiru.


	5. Happily Ever After

**Disclaimer:** I don't know these characters!

**A/N: **This is my final chapter for this story. I am so sorry about my lack of updating over the years, but I never did forget about this story.

This fic means more to me than a yuri Miora story. It has a lot of my personal feelings and experiences in it. It means so much to me to have people who were anxiously waiting my updates and loving this story. Thank you so much to my fans, you all have done more for me than you will ever know.

This chapter is short, and I do apologize, but it was the only way to end the story without having to drag it on.

Please enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review!

_**My Lonely Symphony**_

_**Chapter Five: Happily Ever After**_

I almost broke down in tears.

Almost.

Instead, I was furious. Shiru leaned towards me to try to apologize, but I couldn't find it in me to even care about him at that moment. The only thing concerning Shiru I cared about was where I was going to live now.

Mimi was so plastered, she hadn't even really noticed me standing there yet.

I was so fed up, I took Tai's arm and asked him if we could leave.

And, the whole walk to his car, I didn't shed a tear.

XxX

Life is funny sometimes. Even this very minute as I sit on my couch, I think about Mimi and I still wonder if anything could have happened between us. I always imagine her knocking on my door and kissing me when I answer it. I still remember the taste of her lips, the taste of her breasts, and the scent of her perfume.

And it _still_ drives me crazy.

There are some things in my life that I will never forget.

I will _never_ forget my last conversation I ever had with Mimi Tachikawa.

I stayed with Yamato and Tai after the events of the party. It was only for a few weeks until I found a job as a waitress at a bar and saved up money for my own little bachelor apartment. It was all I needed – one room to keep clean, one room for myself.

Somehow, Mimi had found out my new address, because she showed up at my door sixty-two days after she slept with Shiru.

A lot can happen in two months.

Tai got accepted to a college in Tokyo, and Yamato was in the middle of a mental break down. He didn't want to move, but he didn't want to be away from Tai either. They eventually decided that Tai would go alone so he can focus more on his studies and Yamato would stay here and get a two bedroom apartment with me shortly after Tai left.

My mom and her prick-of-a-boyfriend were still together. I wasn't allowed at her house, but some improvement was made; she came to my apartment every Tuesday for supper.

Shiru and I finally came to a mutual agreement.

We just weren't meant to be.

Well, he did cry while we broke up, but clearly he didn't love me that much if he slept with my best friend. He had tried to kiss me one last time when I was packing my things, but I simply gave him the cold shoulder and taped up the boxes. Yeah, like we needed to go through that again…

I was washing the dishes in my little bachelor apartment when the knock came from the door. I wasn't sure if I had heard it or not, but when I opened the door, it was her.

Mimi Tachikawa.

She was wearing black jegging pants that made her ass look _so _good. Her sweater was hanging down from one shoulder so I could see her tank top and her bra strap.

It must have been a new bra, because I didn't recognize it.

Her hair was the way I liked it best – in a messy bun on top of her head. She also didn't have any make up on.

Just remembering how she looked is enough to, even today, make my heart skip a beat.

Why couldn't I understand how it was possible for someone to be so beautiful?

"Hi, Sora."

God. Even her voice could make me shake.

Although my heart was racing and my breath was lost, I couldn't fall into the trap anymore. She was a good friend, but she had also shattered me two months before. I couldn't let myself get sucked up in her beauty anymore. It was too much.

"Mimi."

"I … I just wanted to see how you were."

"I'm fine."

She let out a silent sigh and looked up at me with her pout on her lips. "Are you still mad at me?"

I could have laughed. "No, I'm _thrilled_ to see you."

"Oh." She smirked. "Your sarcasm says it all."

"What are you doing here?" I found myself snapping.

I was finally doing it. I was finally sticking up for myself. I would have never said these things a year before. No matter how angry I was at Mimi, I have always told myself that she taught me everything I know about life now. She taught me how to be angry. She taught me how to make people not push me around all the time. She taught me that life just fucking sucks sometimes, and the only thing you can do is wait for something awesome to happen again.

"I just wanted to say good bye," she replied, looking at her feet.

I, too, was looking at her boots when I asked, "Good bye?"

She looked back up at me with her sparkling eyes and nodded. And then I realized she was crying. There were _real_ tears coming from her eyes.

Oh, _god¸_ I just wanted to kiss her. I just wanted to hug her and bury my nose in her neck. I had never felt such a fire build up in me every time I thought of someone. She had this hold on me, and I will never understand why.

"I'm moving back to the States."

"What? Why?"

She shook her head and wiped her tears with her sleeve. "I don't belong here. I never have. In America, things are so much easier for me. Everyone accepts me there."

"But what about your dad?"

"I'm going to stay with my aunt until I get my own place."

There was a silence as I just looked into her watering eyes. They were full of regret and passion. I knew, for a fact, Mimi felt bad about hurting me. I wasn't like other people to her. I was above the rest.

"Come with me."

I convinced myself I didn't hear her correctly.

"Sora, come with me. You would love the States."

Oh my _god_, I wanted to so bad...

"There are so many places I would love to take you," she went on. "We can go to school together and I can introduce you to my friends…"

Oh, why couldn't I find it in me to just say no?

I didn't reply, so she said,

"Sora, I am so sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend."

And then reality kicked back in.

I could never go to the States with Mimi, not because of what she did, but because she didn't know what she did. She thought I was mad at her for sleeping with my boyfriend. But, really, I was mad at her for sleeping with, not just my boyfriend, but just someone else in general. It's so hard to explain.

"I can't," I finally responded. "I'm sorry, Meems. But I can't."

She nodded. "That's the answer I was expecting. Okay, then I should … I should probably go."

"Mimi," I protested, unsure of why.

And then, when she turned around, she looked at me with such an odd expression on her face. It was an expression of hope, like I would suddenly tell her I'll have my things packed up for tomorrow. I never would have thought there would be a time that she needed me when I didn't need her.

For the first time since I'd met her, I could see exactly who Mimi Tachikawa was. She wasn't a goddess, she wasn't perfect, and she wasn't my soul mate. She was a mess that I had somehow fallen in love with.

"Don't forget about me," I sheepishly said.

She gave me a warm smile, and with her face brushing against my cheek, she answered,

"I couldn't even if I tried."

And then, before I even could bawl my eyes out, she left.

XxX

I can't say that not being with Mimi devastated me. I cried a lot, I thought about it a lot, but I eventually moved on and stopped thinking about it as much and stopped crying as much. No story in real life has a real ending, just closure.

It's been five years since Mimi moved. Tai is back in town and graduated with honors. Yamato and Tai are now engaged and are planning their wedding for a few months from now.

My mother and Akio broke up a few years ago. She is now living by herself, and that is just the way she likes it.

As for Mimi Tachikawa?

I don't completely know.

The whole town was happy to see her leave, but I feel like a little part of me left, too.

She was the person who gave me my confidence.

She must have done something right, because five years later, I still think about her.

You want to know something?

I have a very strong feeling she thinks about me, too.

Yesterday morning, on my way to work, I checked the mailbox and found a post card from New York, New York. I knew immediately who it was. I mean, I only know one person who lives in America.

The post card read,

_Dear Sora,_

_I'm sorry you haven't heard from me lately, but I have been crazy busy here. I just wanted to update you on my life so you know I'm still alive!_

_I went back to school for hairdressing and – can you believe it! – I became a hair stylist. And, one thing led to another, and I now own my own salon! I am so happy; I never thought I was good at anything, but now I have my own fucking business. How crazy is that?_

_This is a weird time in my life. One of my best friends just had a baby girl, and my other friend is getting married._

Hm. I sure know what that's like.

_I just feel like everyone around me is settling down, and I don't know what to do with myself! I have been thinking of something…_

_And I want your opinion._

_I am thinking of opening a Mimi's Salon Spa in Japan. What do you think?!_

_Yours truly,_

_Mimi!_

_XoXoX_

I can't help but smile, even this moment, when I read the post card. The writing goes all over the card and off the lines so she wouldn't run out of room.

I wasn't sure what to think when I first read it. I was more amazed than anything that she even still remembers me.

I'm thinking about writing her a letter tonight.

What do you think?

XxX

**A/N: **No, I don't plan on writing a sequel. I would like any events that take place after this to be up to the reader's mind to decide.

I love you all, thank you for reading.

Please leave your opinions, and hopefully some more Miora stories will be posted soon!


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